But I Don't Want to Live That Way....

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over,

But had me believing that it was always something that I'd done....

But I don't want to live that way, reading into every word you say.....

You say that you can let it go,

And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know........

I remember sitting at my computer desk, textbooks sprawled out around me as I was studying for a huge mid-term exam in the most dreaded class that I had been stressing about all semester. I finally put myself to bed realizing that if I could get a good night's sleep and wake up early to review my notes, I'd have a better chance at being calm for the test.

As soon as I laid my head down, I got a phone call from two mutual friends asking me to come to a bar to come pick you up because you were trying to drive home drunk. You locked yourself in your red Dodge truck but didn't get far because you completely passed out in the driver's seat, not even moving to acknowledge your friend's banging on your window to try to persuade you to go with them to a safer place.

I drove an hour and a half total to come get you, place you in my car and deliver you to the safety of my bed. I cried myself to sleep again that night thinking about how I always seemed to be picking up the pieces you'd break between us.

I failed my exam the next day; I couldn't concentrate and got no sleep once I finally got to bed at 5 a.m with my exam being at 8 a.m.

If I Had A Brontosaurus

by Shel Silverstein

If I had a brontosaurus,

I would name him Horace or Morris.

But if suddenly one day he had

A lot of little brontosauri

I would change his name

To Laurie.

Lost and found entry

I don't remember what I was so upset about. I counted the bank money furiously and slammed a few things around. I couldn't think straight, I just knew I was pissed and I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him when I saw him next.

There was a knock on the office door. My mind completely stopped, interuppted by reality. I stacked the money together nicely and placed it to the side before opening the door.

There he stood, asking to come in. As angry as I was, to see him biting his nails so nervously made my anger disappear as relief took it's place: he never says sorry, and here he is. I don't think he even had to say anything to have made me as happy as I was at the fact that he was at my door. I looked at him sheepishly and welcomed him in, although I'm sure our manager would probably disapprove of us being alone in the office together.

This is the part where I can't finish. It's the end of it that still kind of kills me. It's one of the best memories I have, despite the circumstances.

Brains and Buffalos

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. 
 
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. This is why you usually feel smarter after a couple of drinks.

 

Here's to becoming faster buffaloes

I don't need to go through a hard time to know that God is on my side, just a reminder that he's a lot closer than I think. It would be stupid of me to think I can go through this alone, because I can't. I have no strength to try, but that's where He comes in to deliver what I can't, and for that.... I thank Him.

 

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

(Psalms 73:26)

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

1 Peter 5:6-7(NKJV)



Who Needs Your Drama?

I think it's pretty amazing to be able to write about something hurtful, but have it come out with a happy ending. In this case, there is no complete happy ending to the problem. However, the bit of happy that does occur is that my heart won't allow it to overtake me or effect me past this.... "initial shock", if you will.

To better explain, I found out something extremely hurtful last night. It destroyed a friendship and hurt my heart when thinking about how much I once cared about this other person who I was once in love with.

But as swiftly as the hurtful emotions came, they just as swiftly left me. I really have no worries, regrets, or hard feelings. Life is still.... great

Besides....there are much better things worth giving time to then to focus on negative people

(introducing my sweet new kitten, Toulouse)

The Good Stuff

This blog is based off the following bible verse:


Phil 4:8- Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.


That verse explains this entry in its entirety.  I don't want to go a single day not praising God for the most wonderful people and things that He has blessed me with. Life is too good to sweat the small stuff, I just want to embrace it instead of regret it.

And if anything.... I don't ever want my life to go too fast to not appreciate everyone and everything.

These are the kinds of things that make life worth living:



Doing what I love, and loving what I do

Knowing you can still count on your best friend from when you were 15, who loves you no matter what





Still finding time to do the things I love most (not drinking, but special events like the private art museum gala :D), regardless of how packed my work week gets



Family










Being blessed with an amazing co-teacher, who turned out to be a great friend also. I wouldn't have had such a great school year if it weren't for my support teacher

 

Making new friends

 



Reconnecting with old friends ("old" as in friends from the past ;P)





Being blessed with a rare job opportunity that is opening up a million more doors to my future.... something I'd been praying about for years



Quality time and play



 



Making Out ;)











Being absolutely and completely blessed to have the best roommate and friend here in Texas



And above all.... I'm thankful to be able to live in a country that is not ruled by extremists or under harsh confinements that  allows us to have freedom of speech and the right to worship our own God. 

Sorry if I got all patriotic on ya'll, but really.... I think that Americans don't know how good we really have it. I'm so thankful to be where I am right now, and I want to continue to work as hard as I can to try to make life great for me and everyone else :)