The Good Stuff

This blog is based off the following bible verse:


Phil 4:8- Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.


That verse explains this entry in its entirety.  I don't want to go a single day not praising God for the most wonderful people and things that He has blessed me with. Life is too good to sweat the small stuff, I just want to embrace it instead of regret it.

And if anything.... I don't ever want my life to go too fast to not appreciate everyone and everything.

These are the kinds of things that make life worth living:



Doing what I love, and loving what I do

Knowing you can still count on your best friend from when you were 15, who loves you no matter what





Still finding time to do the things I love most (not drinking, but special events like the private art museum gala :D), regardless of how packed my work week gets



Family










Being blessed with an amazing co-teacher, who turned out to be a great friend also. I wouldn't have had such a great school year if it weren't for my support teacher

 

Making new friends

 



Reconnecting with old friends ("old" as in friends from the past ;P)





Being blessed with a rare job opportunity that is opening up a million more doors to my future.... something I'd been praying about for years



Quality time and play



 



Making Out ;)











Being absolutely and completely blessed to have the best roommate and friend here in Texas



And above all.... I'm thankful to be able to live in a country that is not ruled by extremists or under harsh confinements that  allows us to have freedom of speech and the right to worship our own God. 

Sorry if I got all patriotic on ya'll, but really.... I think that Americans don't know how good we really have it. I'm so thankful to be where I am right now, and I want to continue to work as hard as I can to try to make life great for me and everyone else :)

On the Other Side of Things....

I present to you the first "Cecilia" song by artist Louis Prima in the 1950's (one of my favorite eras!):

Does your mother know you're out, Cecilia?

Does she know that I'm about to steal ya?

Oh my, when I look into your eyes,

Something tells me you and I should get together

How's about a little kiss, Cecilia?

Just a kiss you'll never miss, Cecilia...

Why do we two keep on wasting time

Oh, Cecilia say that you'll be mine.

But here's the real meat of this post.... I'm really pretty happy being single. I like that for once, I can just put myself and my needs first. I don't have to babysit anyone... I don't have to lay awake at night worrying that I might be dating a scumbag. Or the other way around.... or whatever.

I've been a real bitch with writing so pessimistically now that I've started co-writing the Douchebag blog. It's almost a little unfair in the fact that I really am not against dating; I've met some of the most awesome and interesting guys, it's just.... just that. Not much more. And then there's.... well, all of the douchebags.

I decided today when I was talking to a friend, that the advice I actually give needs to be FULLY applied to my life. I'm hypocritical if I tell my friends to stop thinking about their past significant other and to get past all the bad stuff, if I myself keep throwing up my own red flags when a guy comes along. I need to give people more of the benefit of the doubt, it's just hard when I automatically think back to past assholes. So, from now on:

*I will stop comparing present people to the past people. I will do everything I can to remember that not every guy is the same (maybe they don't ALL want sex? Maybe?)


*I will no longer let any person in my past hold me back from continuing to be the amazing person that I am (that they obviously didn't see in time) and all the goals that I want to accomplish.

And if that goal is to be in a relationship, so be it. I just know I'll never settle again.

Get the Facts Straight

Mexico was amazing... coming back to Houston.... not so much.

I wish I didn't have to come back from Cozumel to hear about people whose implications are absolutely tearing me apart.

I am entitled to be happy with whomever I want or choose to be with, which is just the same in your case. Some relationships don't work out, some do.

For those of you who know what I'm talking about, please go back to my past blog dated October 19th, 2010. Or better yet, any of my posts that were written in March 2010.

Now, tell me if my Facebook status about a certain guy never making me happy was about him.

You do the math. You should have known that at one point, yes, everything was great and amazing. But it didn't work out. It wasn't going to work out. We tried... and God knows that I tried. I don't care if you're upset about him and I. It was OUR relationship, not yours.

And now, *shocker*, things are different. We're dating other people, which means... there are different things going on that have nothing to do with him and I. It's been months, we're over it. That's how life works, you can't just stay stuck in the past. Time to go forward.

And also.... I'm very different about breakups than other people.

When someone gets betrayed by their signficant other, they usually don't want anything to do with them and want to forget the past. Even though I might have felt betrayed and hurt and wished I could forget it all, the past is not something that you can just take back. Which is why I've never tried to change or alter it.

If you're really going to "dig" into my Facebook, you'll notice that anything I have ever posted about a good time/event that I've had in the past few years with another person has NEVER been deleted. This includes "relationship" pictures, profile pics with the other person, wall posts, notes, etc. I don't want to forget the good times, what's the use of erasing them? I get no satisfaction in trying to. Everybody is different with how they "mourn" a relationship.

Nonetheless.... I'm happy to be where I have been.

So with all this said and done:

Leave me and my current dating situations alone; leave my past alone. I'm doing the best I can with what I have, and everything has its own ups and downs.

Just stop trying to bring me down too.

Leavin', on a jet plane....

I haven't been to Denver in two years. I'm flying out in 5 hours, and I don't want to go anymore.

My grandfather died, and I feel as though I owe it to him to say goodbye. I know it's not necessary to have to say goodbye at a funeral, there's just more to this mix of guilt than what meets the eye...

I leave for Mexico on my first vacation in less than a week, and I have a few extra hundred dollars that I am putting towards beach time and pina coladas... so it didn't feel right to know I had that money in hand when my frequent flier miles says they will pay for half my flight, while the other half of the money wants to be spent in Mexico.

I did everything I could to make it work with taking time off, with trying to extend my expenses as far as my wallet would allow... and it worked. I knew I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself on my own vacation if I knew that I had chosen it over supporting my family and really saying goodbye to my grandfather. I really loved him.

So now that the flight is on schedule, my bags are packed, and a car and room have been arranged... I don't wanna go.

Last time I tried to leave Denver, I cried. I didn't want to leave my family, I didn't want to leave my best friend, and I didn't want to leave my coffee date at 6 a.m. with a person I should have never been with. What was harder on that visit was that I DROVE to Colorado, so I literally had to drive away. I had never wanted to turn my car around so badly than that morning.

So, to make things easier on myself... I've completely avoided all means of returning back. I didn't want to feel that kind of hurt again... it was beyond homesick, and I didn't like it.

Especially because now I'm really happy in Houston. I have settled in so well, and I have so many things rolling in my favor; I can't imagine ever moving back to Denver right now, I feel like I'd be missing out on too much here in Houston.

And the sad part is, when I packed up my U-Haul and said au revoir to my home of 19 years... I didn't feel anything then. No sadness, remorse, or guilt... I was excited for my adventure, for the unknown. I didn't really look back, just forward.

But that doesn't mean I never missed my family or friends. I was just ready for something more. I loved to travel (and still do), so I was just giving in to that. I just didn't realize how permanent this was gonna stick. And I'm still willing to go somewhere else, when the time is right.

But a visit to Denver... it's not the same anymore. I don't want to feel like I did before. And I don't want to feel guilty knowing I am in love with Houston and feeling this sad for Denver. Denver is gorgeous, the people are amazing... I just don't know if it's possible to really be in love with two things at once. Once I had let go of Denver, I was then able to really appreciate Houston (and that seriously didn't happen until this past February).  Maybe being single and not working at a bar has something to do with it?

I don't know. I really don't, so I guess... until next time.

It's really too bad

He became a prisoner of his own past

He stabbed a moment in the back

With a brown thumb tack

That held up the list of things he's gotta do

Its really no good

He's moving on before he understood

He shot the future in the foot

With every step it took

From the faces that he knew,

Cause he forgot to look....

A certain shade of green,

tell me, is that what you need?

All signs around say move ahead.
Could someone please explain to me your ever present

lack of speed?

 

Are your muscles bound by ropes?

Or do grudges cloud your day?

My sources say the road is clear,

and street signs point the way.

 

Are you gonna stand around till 2012 A.D.?

What are you waiting for,

A certain shade of green?

I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.

What are you waiting for,

A certain shade of green?

 

Would a written invitation

signed, "Choose now or lose it all,"

sedate your hesitation?

Or inflame and make you stall?

You've been raised in limitation,

but that glove never fit quite right.

The time has past for hand-me-downs,

choose a new, please evolve, take flight.

Green.

What are you waiting for?

A written invitation?

A public declaration?

A perfect consolation?

Remember when you procrastinate you choose last.

I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.

Are you gonna stand around till 2012 A.D.?

What are you waiting for,

A certain shade of green?

I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.

Thrills

I know my mumsie (yes, mumsie... or mummy) would kill me, but I'm not sure about my father.... I think it'd be a mix of "What the f, Cecilia?" and a little bit of pride knowing he had raised a ballsy daughter, but if they found out what has been stuck in my head the past few weeks.... I'd never hear the end of it.

I'm researching the purchase of a bike. No, not a bicycle.... no, not a workout bike....

GW250 250cc Naked Street Bike

Let me argue this with you, please. I mean, come on.... the freakin' TITLE of the blog is "I Promise I'm Not Crazy." So, let me just list a few things to try to prove my point a bit....

1. I grew up riding dirtbikes. The terrain was more difficult, I already know how to use a clutch and lean into corners and turns... I just need a few pick-me-up test drives (and of course my motocycle license) and I'll be comfortable on the road.

2. You know that when Cecilia gets an idea in her head... it takes a lot to beat it out, or it gets accomplished. Those are the only options in my book.

3. I'm looking for a thrill. Obviously, this one can get me killed.... but so can eating jawbreakers or swimming off the coast of Galveston. And riding has always been a HOBBY of mine. I don't want to buy a dirtbike to ride on trails by myself... THAT feels odd, it's a different feeling and concept then being on a real road. And it's not realistic to try to put a trailer on my CR-Z (or having to get a vehicle to pull the trailer), then buy a trailer, just to ride alone somewhere far in Texas. I'm kind of more of a social rider too, I liked riding with my dad, brother, or sister.

4. Fuel economy!!! :D


The bike pictured above is the only one I have researched that I'm really interested in, but not until I sit on quite a few and get a feel for the handling will I decide before browsing to purchase.... and I'll start used.

And this probably won't be for another 2 years or so... maybe a gift to myself when I finish my Bachelors?